Hmm... Interesting.

So during a debate in English this morning about feminism (we watched way more gLee than we probably needed to and Katy Perry's stupid Calfornia Girls video), me and Karlene got into a debate over whether we've read more books by females or by males, wondering if we're living up to our feminist nature. So we started a list. Sadly, it's terribly difficult to do this from memory, other than the main writers we watch, so on my spare I rambled through my Goodreads "read" list to see the authors I've read and how many books by them I've read. And what I found kinda shocked me. Here's the results:

Males (11)
Douglas Adams
Eoin Colfer
Garth Nix
Kenneth Oppel
Christopher Paolini
James Patterson
Rick Riordan
W. Shakespeare
Geoffrey Trease
Homer
Isaac Asimov

Females (17)
Kelley Armstrong

Flavia Bujor
Meg Cabot
P.C. Cast
Cassandra Clare
Cornelia Funke
S.E. Hinton
Sue Monk Kidd
Harper Lee
Lesley Livingston
Stephenie Meyer
Jenny Nimmo
Tamora Pierce
Anne Rice
J.K. Rowling
Mary Shelly
Patricia C. Wrede

As you can see, there are clearly more female writer's that I've read than male ones. But the other thing I counted was how many books by them I've read. The results were:

Males: 58 books                      Females: 46 books

So even though I've read more female authors, I've still read more books my males. My brain starting to sink into Philosophy mode for next period, I started to wonder why. Then I noticed some patterns.

The males, for the most part, have all written lengthy series, with some still not completed. The average amount of books in a series with a male author is around 6-8 books, and that's with some unfinished series remember. Then I looked at the girls side. With the exception of Rowling and Nimmo, who broke the barrier at the begninning of my childhood for female fantasy writers, most of the females that tossed us, threw us, and took us on wild adventures wrote only 3 or 4 books for their series. On average, girls get a lot more done with less paper.

Also noticed, on close analysis, that most of the female authors I've read I've picked up relitively recently, other than the old classics you read in school.

It appears females are a minority in the sci-fi/fantasy world, but they're starting to make their mark. Which gives me hope that I might be on that list someday.

Girl Power!!!
Amanda Out.

Dilemmas

So Korky's fretting out about a math question right now... Like to the point she should be rocking back and forth in a corner.

Apparently she thinks she copied down this question wrong, and she has no idea how to do it. I'd help her, but I know nothing about math, especially grade 12 math. Ick. I have to take it next semester at the end of the day. It's gonna be terrible.

Anyways, we can't decide who she should ask for help. There's a nerdy smart kid of awesome sitting at the table over yonder named Jared, and though he's one of our kin(meaning the nerd family), we don't know him very well. And Korky doesn't have the guts to walk over to him and randomly ask him a question. Though, now that I think of it, I would find that weird too. So he's out.

We asked Jess, who is SUPER nerdy, and at least took the class a year or so ago... but I dunno how much help she'll be. She has a cold. Personally, I think she should ask Ola, but she won't see her until next period...

Oh, hold on I think she got it... YAYS!!! Oh wait... never mind, wrong question.

So yeah. That's our little adventure for today. As you can see, not much is happening. Although I did bring my Collected Works of my Good Friend William Shakespeare to school today for Writer's Craft. It's sitting right here next to me. It is godly, gold leafed pages and all. *sighs*

Don't you hate it when the most amazingly super awesome guys(slash girls) are either dead or ficitonal? I mean, I would date Shakespeare, that's how awesome he is. And everyone else is fictional. I mean, did you read the Mortal Instruments series? (Cassandra Clare is a Goddess) Jace=God. I'm dead serious. He's real I tell you.

And then all of us floating this sorry boat end up drowning our lives away in writing our own literature in an failing attempt to create an actually decent guy. I don't think it's possible, you can't possibly meet a decent guy in your whole life. You have to put up with an almost descent one someday. Well, unless he's gay, but then you know, things aren't going to work out.

Korky's freaking out next to me. She're cursing math. I won't quote directly, but basically "I HATE MATH."

I think it's a statement even geniuses have said at least once in their life. What idiot decided we could use numbers to describe the world again? I think we're learning about him in philosophy today... the Pythgorians? Something like that. OOO! That reminds me of pie. Now I want some.

That's all for today. Chillax. We'll make it through.
Amanda Out.

The World of Role Play

Hello all. Today is day two of my spare blogging. I will blog every day!

Did that really need an exclamation mark? Yes. Yes it did.

So here's today's post. It's raining, and all my joints feel like crap. My head is swirling so much I can't concentrate on much... especially this screen. So don't mind my spelling. I'm currently decked out in a tensor bandage on my wrist, and both ankle braces, trying to fight the wrath of the rain. Yet despite its depressing nature, I've always seemed to like it for some reason. Weird.

I also ventured into the world of role play last night by trying to join Karlene's character's dorm room. Well it's going well so far. We only got out like one post each last night, so we continued our discussions today in a google doc during our English computer period. I know, naughty. But I can't concentrate on Julian of Norwich's life right now, so it was a welcome distraction from a throbbing brain.

And in that conversation today, I managed to piss off her character, Midnight, twice. Looks like I probably won't be rooming with her. That's alright. I'm going to go to the hallway subtopic, and open a room called Pandorica's Closet. I shalt live there. And lock the door.

So that's my adventures with role play today... how about something from yesterday.

hmmm... Well we still haven't given our presentation in Philosophy. That's alright though, ours sucks. I want you to find the philosophical questions in Galileo dropping two weights off the tower of Pisa. Our thought bite didn't even have a question to get us started! The blasphemy!!! Is that even politically correct to say?

Anyways, I drew something for Korky instead that looks kinda sweet. But she has it, so I can't post it sadly. Otherwise I would. YAY SCANNERS!

And thinking of drawing, you should see my pathetic attempt at drawing anime. My sister's teaching me, but that doesn't negate the fact that I CAN'T DRAW WORTH SHIT. Well, maybe a little bit. I can DOODLE! :)

Alright, I'll stop with the caps. I might post the drawing when I'm done. But right now all you can see is a head and two arms cuz that's all I know how to draw! Once I learn I'm gonna draw all the characters from Dream Catcher! Yay! I'm excited.

So that's my adventures from yesterday. Back to the boredom of my spare. Toodeloo!
Amanda Out.

School's Begun!

Hey all.

So I know I kinda neglected this during the summer, but I promise I'm going to update this as often as I can with stories from the previous day. Promise. I have second spare, and as long as I'm not doing homework, I'm going to update this blog. WOOT!

So adventures... I'm doing way more Girl Guides than is probably humanly necissary. I'm Junior Leading in a Sparks unit and in a Guide unit. I'll also help my mother from time to time. And on top of all that, I'm a Ranger still! The spaks meeting is tonight and Jenn if a leader! I'm so excited! But I have to remember to back off so I don't overwhelm her... which may be difficult because it's me. Hopefully a room full of cute six year olds will be distraction enough.

I share this spare with Korky (she's currently reading original brothers grimm tales on the internets), and I have every single class with Karlene. Oh! And Philosophy class should be eventful what with all the brain melting and EVERYONE IN IT. Karlene, Ania, Korky, Ola, Rachel, Emily, Marissa, Victoria, Sonya, and Jared. EVERYONE is in that class and we all get to melt our brains together!!!! ^^

And just for the record, PARMENIDIES MELTED MY BRAIN.

The other exciting thing that is happening is I'm venturing into the world of Role Play. I haven't officially launched my character into the world of online character development, but I'm thinking someone named Pandora who's the daughter of Athena and Hades, cast to earth by her parents, doesn't know her past and is adopted by faries. Yeah.

And where's all this happening? The wonderful world of Gaia. Anime freaks galore. And the occasional book fan. And the bunch of us who are only addicted to it because our sister's joined and we had to watch over them to make sure they don't do anything stupid and ruin our repuations. Yeah. XD

So I'm launching into RPing. OH! and the other thing you should know is that we've re-launched Nerd-Tastic Adventures! You can check it out by clicking that link. You know you want to. There we will be documenting our adventures throughout high school as nerds. You are welcome to contribute. Just let me know! It's gonna be epic. We have a whole bunch of new stories lines up to tell, so do check it out and get youself aquinted with the old ones.

So that's all for now and I'm supposed to be working on my RP character right now instead of blogging, but I figured I'd update you anyways.

Writing everyday from now on during my spare!
Amanda Out.

It's all in the quotes.

I'm never the same person when I go to sleep as when I wake up. The world keeps getting bigger every morning. I wish the world would stop being to big. What's wrong with a little world for a little me? But it's the little things that make life big.

And when people ask me, "Why are you so weird?," I never know what to say. But then I realize why would I be like THIS when I can be like THIS! When it comes down to it, I'm not weird, I'm gifted at living.


But some days I don't feel so good... somebody, please, give me a hug. Sometimes when I say "I'm ok," I want someone to look me in the eyes, hug me tight, and say "I know you're not." I know I shouldn't be afraid of death, I should be afraid of an unlived life. And I want to live alone, because the greatest love is ruined by the bickering, the argument of living, so I want to live alone. I could be happy on my own. But I think I'm afraid of being happy.

I have no special talents, I'm just passionately curious. I'm not the girl that thinks a guy is the answer, I'm just tired of being alone. Sometimes I think my brain has too many things in it and I try to get rid of the stuff I don't need anymore. Some of it just won't budge though. One advantage of being disorderly is that one is constantly making exciting discoveries.

They say you know you're in love when your heart starts making more sense than your head. Why did I not see this before, the boy I adore was right in front of me. You're just jealous because we act retarded in public and people still love us. And in the end, I turned out liking you more than I originally planned. You've done it, and we who know you are not in the tiniest bit surprised. I have a tendency to fall in love with fictional characters, but not this time. More than anything, I want you to be thinking of me. You are my sunshine. And I'll tell you that if there ever comes a day when we can't be together, keep me in your heart, and I'll stay there forever. If we ever do part, I'll remind myself not to worry about the world ending today because it's already tomorrow in Australia. If the world ends in 2012, I'll have spent my whole life in school for nothing.

I thank God every time I remember you, though sometimes your lack of social skills astonishes me. When you want something you've never had, you have to do something you've never done, and yet, for a minute there, I lost myself. If you were waiting for the opportune moment, that was it.

I just want to sit in bed and snuggle and eat cereal and watch stupid movies with you all day long. Don't let the sweet face fool you, I'm a freak. Crazy I am. And you're crazy. I like crazy. So I just want to tell you I have my own stalkers, and, dear beautiful, don't ever forget how to be amazing. For that I say Merci Beaucoup.

They say don't judge a book by it's movie, so if Google didn't exist, we'd all be screwed, and life would be an epic fail. We keep waiting on the world to change, yet we know the future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams. I am the dream, and you are the dreamer, so hold your head high gorgeous. They will kill to see you fall. You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one. I hope someday you will join us and the world will live as one.

Sometimes it's hard to remember that you have been taught that there is something wrong with you, that you are imperfect, but there isn't and you're not. Yet we look for ourselves in everyone, and we feel like we are a fruit loop in a world of cherrios. We fear rejection, want attention, crave affection, and dream of perfection. But life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, it's learning to dance in the rain.

In the end, this... is a pen, and I use Avada Kedarva because Muggles can't prove it in court. And this is why I say eff Iraq, we need to catch Voldemort!

I thought today I'd write something clever here, then I thought, screw that. So Mario, you can thank me later for devoting my entire life to saving your girlfriend.


I am me. Love me.

My Duty is to Love. FOREVER.

Hey guys!!!

So I know I haven't posted in forever, but since my last post I have crawled through exams, packed for camp, and escaped life to Guelph Lake for 10 days. And naturally, I've kinda got over my last post since with escape from school meant escape from most drama.

My exams went alright, but feeling generally depressed through them, everything is kind of a fog. I remember not feeling confident in my physics exam in any way whatsoever, but feeling like I aced my math exam. I'm too lazy right now to go downstairs and get my final grade 11 report card, but I know I squeaked by in Physics with an 80% (I thought I would get a 60) and I managed to make honour roll with a completely unacceptable for me 87% average. I'm trying not to be hard on myself.

Then the next week was filled with planning and shopping and packing and preparing for Guiding Mosaic 2010. I got the journalism job I wanted, so I had to get in a day early. Which meant extra cramming, but after exams that's nothing new.

Camp started a little roughly with a general lack of organization and preparation. Which surprised me since it was a Girl Guide camp. Still, I rolled with the punches and layered on my unshakable patience. Being on the inside of the inner-workings of the camp this time though, it surprised me how many people had a serious lack of patience, respect, understanding, and flexibility. There were people who came to this ten day camp who had never camped before in their lives! And most of them came from outside the province or OUTSIDE THE COUNTRY! And then when the boat started sinking they immediately started to tear down the people who were holding them up and had tried valiantly to plan this camp for them. There were times I wanted to forget jumping into different programs (we didn't have schedules yet at this point) and just run around telling everyone they were doing a wonderful job or tell them to just hang in there. Relax. Have some patience people! You're in Guiding! You know things don't always work out as planned.

But through blistering heat and pouring rain, the weather at Guelph lake was all but natural. Thank you global warming. You think Mother Nature is just trying to piss us off now after that oil spill in the Gulf.  The girls from Jamaica even said it was hot. It was crazy. I could drink twelve bottles of water one right after the other and I wouldn't have to run to the portapotties (or Pottaloos as our English friends say) until the evening!

But we got through the days and soon things started to level out and everyone had a wonderful time! I learned in I Can Drive THIS Without a Licence about road signs in other countries (and here too of course), car maintenance, and how to drive a go-kart. This session was taught by the leader from England, so it was really cool. She had to explain to one of the English girls in the session to drive on the wrong side of the road because that's how we drove here in Canada. XD

The other session I really enjoyed was Digital Music. We got bussed out to the University of Guelph and they stuck us on a bunch of Macs with synthesizers and an awesome digital music program. Emily and I worked together to make an epic mash up of different loops and electric piano we played ourselves. The song started with Emily's rock and blues style piece with a piano part she played on the synthesizer. It then transitioned to my Jazz piece with horns and a little cymbal and vinyl scratching. We decided to tack on some movie themes at the end as finish with a Sci-fi-esque echo piano. It was epic. The title? SHABAMZUM! XD

There was another trip I took to the U of G that ended up being all Leaders and only four Rangers on the trip. But it was worth it because guess where we all ran to before catching the bus back? TIMMIES!!! Oh yes, the leaders were in coffee withdrawal.

All in all I had an epic ten days... I mean 11 days (can't forget the extra day I came early!). Shout out to all the amazing sisters from around the world... Chantal from Jamaica, Hazel from England, Emily from Wales, Maddie from Barrie, Georgia from Nova Scotia, The ENITRE Communications team (hugs to Jordyn, Alana, and Emily), the ENTIRE special events team, and my crew of Newfies who taught me how to properly pronounce Newfoundland, as well as teaching me some of the Newfie lingo. <3 to you all.

Remember everyone that this is not the last time we'll meet. We'll all see each other again someday, somehow, someway. And until then remember this: You are all my sisters in Guiding. You are my family no matter how far we part, I can always feel you here in my heart, and I will miss you most of all. So On my honour, I will try, to make just one difference, and change just one life, for the better, for my duty is to love. Forever.

Until next time,
Amanda Out.

*head desk*

Have you ever felt like you did something so incredibly stupid that any hope of fixing things was completely lost? That if there was even the slightest inkling of possibility, it was now thoroughly and completely snuffed out of existence? I'd be surprised if he even talks to me now... I'm such an idiot.

So you probably figured out by now, today was one of those above mentioned days. And the worst part is, I don't feel stupid, or embarrassed, or heartbroken. I feel GUILTY. Someone please explain to me how this makes sense. My conscious insists on incarceration without trial or proof.

*bangs head on screen* I seriously don't know how to deal. I'd just try vainly to patch things up again, maybe try not ignoring him completely if I wasn't scared out of my mind to talk to him. And it's not because he's a particularly scary person, I'm just a complete and utter coward. Who's afraid of liking somebody.

There I said it. I'm afraid of liking someone, alright? It makes me feel awkward, and not in control. I need to feel stable, solid, sure. And my world is usually like that, I think things through, prove to myself that the world and my life isn't going to collapse around me. Yet when I look at him, my breath catches in my throat and I feel like I'm drowning, my mind lurches and panics.

Now this whole entire issue would be solved if I would let myself think about him and think it through, prove to myself that saying hello once in a while won't create the end of the world. But thinking about him then makes me feel stereotypical, which, if you know anything about me, I shun as much as possible. I hate being stereotypical. I have to be odd. Quirky. NOT NORMAL.

So then I end up in this whole entire loophole of stupidity and stubbornness that fights to hide what I really think, and it just keeps going around and around...

Ugh! Is this how you normal people feel every day?! How the hell do you pull it off? Usually I can mask it, and force it down my throat until it dies screaming in stomach acid, but then I get bored, the wind whispers, and my mind ponders flights of fancy, feather-light wishes blown out onto the breeze... and then my mind starts thinking, maybe, just maybe, there's the slightest chance he thinks the same way and my heart is right, and it clings to it for all it's worth.

Then I do something incredibly stupid like this. I can't get your face out of my head, the way you looks after I screwed it all up. Again.

When it comes to things that might actually matter in the long run, how come I'm such an idiot?